Better Luck Next Time Boys!

After working with computers for twelve years – I just got my first virus. Yes, my virus cherry has finally been popped.

This was a particularly interesting one as it was riding on the back of an active-x control from a website. I’d been on this site a million (and a half) times so when the Do You Want To Run This Control came up I clicked yes. A few minutes later a notice from Microsoft Security Essentials (a free virus product from Bill himself – just remember that you get what you pay for) that a virus had invaded. I clicked to kill it off and nothing. It came up three more times before the virus disabled MSE.

Tried to reinstall MSE only to be told I couldn’t because it was installed. So I uninstalled it (for all the good it was doing anyway – I’d have been better protected with a body condom and some vaseline) and the virus wouldn’t allow me to reinstall.

Then it disabled Task Manager.

Then it disabled my browser.

So after trying all my techie tricks to no avail – I’d no sooner get something running and this program would shut it down. Diabolical thing – it would bring up a window to BUY virus software…like I would do that. Silly rabbit – those tricks are for three year olds.

So I thought back to my hacking days (hey, I was doing it legally) and I asked myself – why am I using a flyswatter when I have a giant club at my disposal? So what did I do? Booted from the install CD and wiped the drive.

See, this virus was designed to turn PCs into dummy terminals and to harvest email addies from my email software. It would then spam my friends with viruses….and so on. Only one problem.

There wasn’t any email addies on that PC. See, I’d just installed the operating system on Monday. Basically this virus was trying to take over a…dumb terminal. I have to admit, it did make me giggle. All these years on countless PCs I’ve run around without any anti-virus and never had an issue. Got my first virus with Microsoft by my side. Gotta love that one. Hey Bill – up yours.

Oh, and the virus software this thing wanted me to buy? (http://www.kaspersky.com/virusscanner) Yeah, I’ll get right on that when they suck my big hard hairy- BEEEEP!

Have a nice day.

Kicked to the curb

I’ve been working with computers since 1994. This was the year that I built my first one all by my wittle self. At one time there wasn’t anything I couldn’t do to my computer. Install new stuff, replace, format and partition drives – you name it, I was the techno-master.

Then along came Vista.

After all these years I’ve always done all my backups manually. Plug in my backup drive, drag and drop – one backup, no muss no fuss. So when Outlook began screwing up (it’s always Outlook that screws me over) I decided to go ahead and reinstall my OS. I have a tendency to install and move things like its going out of style. I try a program, I delete it – do that 30 times a year and its no wonder an OS can get a little flakey.

And low and behold, Vista (the devil!) has a backup utility that will create a backup of your settings, user files etc. Having never used it, I thought, wow, that would be really nice. I wouldn’t spend forever putting my settings back in…

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It lives….

…but it’s retarded!

So I reinstalled my operating system…all my programs…only to realize instead of erasing the drive, Windows installed over the old operating system.

I really hate technology.

On my other laptop all I have to do is stick in the CD, select the option to reinstall and that’s it. Obviously the newer, stealthier laptop doesn’t have that much sense. Seeing that I am headed to New York on the ninth, I’m going to turn my precious hardware over to a friend who will kick it back into shape.

Thank god for geeks.

One of those days…

Yes, it’s Saturday and one of those days. It started out easily enough. Got up at 6am (sickning isn’t it?) and put out the dogs. Went back upstairs and weighed myself…then decided to go back to bed.

Yes, I gained a few.

Back into bed I went for a snooze…a two hour snooze. Why is it when I stay up late, I still get up at 6am? That is SO wrong!

Anyway, when I got up for the second time (at least I avoided the scales as I was pretty sure sleeping for a few hours wasn’t going to remove the poundage I’d added) and went to turn on my computer…it locked up.

Actually this has been going on for a while. I’m one of those old school geeks who likes to reinstall their operating system 12 or 18 months. I have a tendency to install and uninstall all sorts of things and I don’t care what anyone says, programs never completely uninstall themselves. They leave bits and pieces of themselves all over your drive like little piles of dog poo just waiting to be stepped in.

Unfortunately, the drive on that particular laptop hasn’t been reistalled since I bought it almost two and half years ago. Needless to say, it was much overdo.

So here I sit, sneaking peeks at my beloved computer as Windows is being reinstalled. I have an automatic defibrilator just in case it can’t be revived.

Wish me luck.